I have discovered the monstrosity that is a plot to kill our Glorious Lord and Master, based Mar. This act of Maricide is being planned by the monstrous enemy of Mar and the Swiss protectors of good, Cathy Von Elphberg, Evil Queen of the Elves!
How do we know this spooki shiz? 'Cause we do. Using the Squirrel armies of the Swiss, we hope Mar can slay this heretic and ensure he spreads his word of eternal servitude to all Mankind, yet we must band together to slay this lip-syncing Elf Queen.
0 Comments
Shock and horror today my good friends, I have discovered an elitist organisation that bans members for sharing news related to the community, namely, our good selves!
Who are these killers of joy? These censors of the facts? These un-godly heathens?!? MICRONATIONS AND ALTERNATIVE POLICIES. The monster machine of Cruickshank. He slaughters all who disagree and slaughters all who fight against the system! DOWN WITH CRUISHANK! MAR FOR LEADER! Shocking news today my readers! There is a sex scandal within Mercia, with Richard Hytholoday, the monster of the community, their hooded leader.
Hytholoday has taken many sex slaves throughout the community I have discovered, using bondage to keep them in line, including Mr Llewelyn Lawton and Mr Damian Billbrough. Something has to be done about this menace! How do we do this? We must, as a Community, band together, and banish this spawn of the darkness back into the Netherworld from whence he crawled out of Next time: Von Elphberg: The Evil Queen Elf Who Wants Mar dead? I have found out a most horrible and heinous crime today, my dear readership.
What do the Burnham Micropress, the Commonwealth Gazette and Regal Telecom all have in common? They're all ran by the same man. Richard Hytholoday. Now, why is this important? AS HE HAS ESTABLISHED A MEDIA EMPIRE! It isn't Rupert Murdoch. Its #RichardMurdoch Now, how are we to defeat this menace? *offscreen scuffle and Richard appears* Nothing. There is no conspiracy. Go back to your daily routine, my slaves. I mean....loyal readers. Next Time: S&M Sex Scanal: No Mercian is safe! Shock and horror today readership!
I was on my way to discover Klaassen-White was a maniac as long thought, with his glorious attack on the USSR state of Microflag. However, we have learned a shocking truth tonight. James Klaassen-White is a Martian. How did I discover this, you may question? I was following him through the woods of knowledge, when I saw him climb into a spaceship, where he rose into the air and gunned down a homeless fellow. I ran from there and vowed to take him down, but the C.I.A must be working for him as they dismissed it. Next time: Rupert Murdoch? More like RICHARD Murdoch! |
DYour friendly neighbourhood reporter Archives
August 2015
Categories |