Yes, my dear readers. This shall be the big one. The tears. The plots. The heartbreak. and the murder....
This story starts like any other our prestigious paper has covered, with a wedding for a Von Elphberg. It was to be the marriage of the century, Cathy was to marry Deniz Tezcan, but as to why, that will be explained later on.... Let us begin at the beginning, and the murder of a great man. The year was 1066. William had claimed the throne, and Mr Von Elphberg was travelling through Europe when he was set upon in modern day Switzerland by an army of squirrels. As he evaporated, his young child, swore revenge on the squirrel armies of Switzerland. Throughout the centuries, these two formidable foes have clashed, Von Elphberg against the undead squirrel hordes of the Swiss. The Swiss have vowed to extinguish the line of Von Elphberg, but as they learned throughout the years, the line of Von Elphberg would not be so easily broken. Now, dear readers, we come to the modern conflict, and the stalemate, of sorts. The undead Swiss hordes are largely underground, and the Von Elphberg's are thousands of miles away from Switzerland, yet forces move against them even now. Recently, with the love affair of the Von Elphberg heir and Mr Yarobae Mar, considered the hunkiest Micro-nationalist of all time, and the most desirable man of all time, ending badly, it was rumoured Mr Mar was seeking to marry Mr Tezcan. To prevent this, and to spare the hearts of every single person on the planet, Mr Tezcan and Cathy Von Elphberg agreed to marry one another. Yet this happy union should and could not last, as several forces moved to crush this joy.
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